To all the therapists and other invisible front line workers who are deteriorating behind the science, there is another way, a way to fall in love with your work again. There is a way to do our heart’s work without breaking our own heart in the process. There is a way to do sacred, good, hard work that sits with tragedy (not alone with white knuckles) but with and in celebration of all of humanity.
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TL;DR: We all struggle with self doubt, uncertainty, a hope for reassurance. Those questions have no answers and a million answers. 1. In times of doubt and confusion, find inspiration from the stories of your heroes and their struggles. 2. You don’t need to see the whole path, just the step in front of you. Take that one step. 3. Answer the why? Why would you do this hard thing?
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TL;DR summary: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy teaches the skills of openness, presence, and engagement to create the life you want. I fell in love with ACT via Robyn Walser and an experience of common humanity. [illustrative Taoist story] Next week, human suffering.
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TL;DR summary: Only use tools that maximally determine your happiness and success. I actively don’t hustle IRL - why do I do it over social media? (reflection sharing etc.) Realization: My own hashtag hustle is rooted in not feeling good enough as is. End: What would you like to hear about that would add value to your life?
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And bottom line, if my best friend thought her business was failing, if she thought she was useless and unskilled, I would just sit with her. I would listen. I would say, “This is hard…How can I help?....I love you, I’m cheering for you….Everyone in the whole world feels this way. You’re not alone, I feel this way, Ghandi felt this way when he was a miserable and ineffective lawyer! We’re in good company, love.” I *would not* problem solve out of the pain. I wouldn’t skip over it.
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I think the grandest and most destructive illusion is that everyone else is ok and we’re the only one that’s in pain. We’re all in pain; through genes and history and environment and dumb luck, we’re all doing the best we can and sometimes that feels so far from great.
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This is a letter for you, the missed call, the person in the middle space. That space where it hurts almost enough to act…almost.
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I don't say that you are tattooed on my heart but there you are. and years from now, know that I when I look up at a vast sky of stars, I silently wish you peace and love and all life has to offer.
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